flight of thought

it’s not really about what we want…

it’s about grasping and accepting the fact that we are humanly wanting things all the time.


the perpetuation of moments, repetition and obsession is a mere indication that I fear dying.

i keep the moments, the small things because i can be there, in that moment, for how long as i want me to be.

there is no future, there is no past – just the present in a still format
that must certainly be the reason why i have this duality over death.
i fear it, i want to grasp every single pleasurable life i can have,
i want it, i frequently decide there is no point in trying to avoid a certain fact – and with that comes self harming behaviour.

i can either be perpetuating moments or i can be without a single object at sight – just a wall.

i find myself either wanting immortality or the death that i fear will creep upon when i least want it (so i prefer it to happen now).

eternal continuous moments = no time = no decay


fuck i’m tired

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