2 am

at 2 am is no time to be alive.

at 2 am I willingly rest my head on the silky pillow of the huge sofa I reserve solely for my loneliness.

at 2 am I keep wondering why. Never got an answer. At 2 am I have no idea of how the last two days were all about – a continuous blur of the time in several different spaces, all of them truly comfortable. At 2 am I am ready to forfeit. Watch the movie I’m not particularly interested in but the improbable chance of concentration and focus is a great opportunity to meditate on everything I can’t hear or understand.

at 2 am I open the windows to the balcony, see the fog turn into rain and place myself in the corner that will punch me with the cold winds of what is night turning into day.

at 2 am I surrender, to the promised sleep I vowed to months ago…

is there a chance of visiting my dreams? We could talk about it, on how I’d prefer to have you during sleep because it’s really daunting to go about during day with the memory of your eyes. I hope you don’t mind, we could make it work.

at 2 am I am no longer the walls, the protection or fear. It’s real.

 

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