there’s always nothing new about it
familiar feelings don’t make them easier…
i barely keep myself alive through the day yet I want to do it all
i want to do it all, learn it all, run around, live forever!
– i also wouldn’t mind dying… Oh, how joyful is the imagined perceived blessing of sleeping – the same sleep I don’t remember having before being born
something human, true and worthy
i don’t know
i never fucking know
every time I seem to grasp it
i wake up and lose it all
all over again, all over again, stuck on repeat. The endless loop of understanding the feelings and feeling the understandings – outside of my own meat body.
wake up way too early, get excited
anyhow, doesn’t last for long enough to fulfil and distract.
i hate running but I can’t stop the race
i want to stop but I keep awake
whenever there is something true I can’t forget, I’ll stick to it – painful, divisive, it irks me to the core, shakes me down to a blast and in a million pieces I fall again.