“positive thinking”

i have – and surely will again in the future – fallen prey to positive thinking.
this monster has to be acknowledged. Positive thinking can ruin you.
delusional thinking is never a good house to place your bets on.
i have had some major issues with other people regarding this subject – mainly those who are simply afraid of not following the mantra and don’t want to be “tainted by all the negativity”.
the day your body starts to attack you and you decide to keep “positive” about it, you can be doomed.
for far too many times I fell for this kind of self imposed torture, believing it to be completely harmless. Which I had to find out it’s really not in the most terrifying of ways…
why? Positive thinking is an attitude you have to decide on having. So, picture this.
you are on a low mood, self deprecating state when you aren’t achieving what you believe to be your goals and sickness is also brought into the mix.
then you hear of how you should (and must, by some) believe in the best of outcomes in order to not only keep yourself sane but to help in healing.
you force yourself to keep going and against better judgement you place yourself in situations where you demand from your mind and body things they just cannot achieve. Not at that moment at least.
“i must remain positive, everything will work out” – and you go on, you push yourself to an absurd limit. Your body starts to resent you, your mind fights back.
“why is this not working? I am such a wimp! Why can’t everything be easier? I’ve done everything I could to remain on “the good path” and succeed”. 
well, that is the risk you might undergo and finally bring on the worst of it all…
because stress ensues and the sickness feeds on it. Stress and self destructive habits place themselves on the void between what you can do or be and the “ideal” that you wholeheartedly desire.
and you will fail. You will fail because you tried to be “positive” about it and it does not work because you are asking for too much too soon and everything falls to pieces on your lap a hundred times worse than you ever had to begin with!
i’ve just come out of another situation where I pushed myself over and over again believing that forging a new path with the help of “never minding my real issues” would eventually result in a new body and outlook on life.
all it ever got me was a ton of stressful new worries and sure enough my body did not handle it and I stepped back more steps than I ended up taking forward.
i’m sick and tired of anyone who will try to push their positive agenda on me because it does not work. Not for me.
am I saying you should be gloomy, desperate and depressed? Of course not!
admitting to yourself all the limitations, as well as the strong points you might me facing is the real helpful way to push forward.
it is a moral crime to impose a sense of new found happiness on those who can’t control their surroundings and circumstances and I have accepted (not without grievance) that I have to be responsible for my well being not by reaching for a positive lens but through a real, no nonsense stance.
as this situation has happened more times than I’m willing to admit, I have to agree with a somewhat cynical point of view of a pretty amazing woman that has always been in the forefront of fighting the imposed positivity thinking shitty deal society is going through. 
it’s not cynicism, it’s reality. And reality hurts but it is also joyful and fun. Many times it is those things at the same time.

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