serendipity [yet again]

whenever I stop enough to notice it, everything has followed these types of encounters, changes and switches.

a somewhat vague yet extremely prevalent reality (feeling?). serendipity gives all that is good. If trying to act on it, it usually flees - don't reach for it as it'll fade away

terms & conditions

the serendipitous encounters should happen when the following symptoms are present:

• taking quite a fall but unnecessary to hit rock bottom. In fact, it is probably at halfway to that depth. A discomfort only forgotten when distracted
• distracting is hard
• apathy
• cynicism (manifesting in being snarky)
• living in pre- or post - | never "during"
• looking into the emptiness of unfocused eyes for far too long... at any moment
• staying conformed with barely any movement (physical, mental, etc)
• being afraid of loneliness (even if being alone is just fine)
• creating new scenarios that you fear - i.e. look at an analogue watch and understand that every move of a second is a countdown (end of life), understand time as subtractive.
• being the happiest when the pills work at night - i.e. "finally I get to sleep!"

as such, when serendipity presents itself it might manifest as:

• happiness as peace - the only true happiness besides moments of joy
• good relationship with the sun and its light
• living in "during", never on pre- and looking forward to post -
• dizzying movement with a clear sensation of wonder
• better relationship with mornings
• tough boundaries and disregard for what were ultimately really boring interactions
• another "welcome" to something, someone, somewhere
• a semi-consciousness of letting go as serendipity takes hold

it's all there is

and all there was/will be

*lovely morning. waking up to a sneeze and still no intense anger at the shortness of sleep or overall exhaustion. curiosity abounds and learning was achieved during the first hour of wakefulness. going around small vehicle with no destination at 75% probability.